So, you found the “one” and you are in love. You both are ready to settle down and you may need a few ideas of what it is you are getting yourself into.
Well, you landed yourself in the right place, my friend. Take a seat and read on. Here are a few things you need to know before getting married.
1. You will be fighting with your spouse over little things that do not matter. Some of the things you will fight your spouse about may have no importance whatsoever! Things like which brand of shampoo to get or which toothpaste is better actually turn into fights. Other petty issues can be fought over by you and your spouse also. Fighting, arguing and disagreeing with your spouse is common – there are no symptoms. You’ll know it when you are in this situation. Try to fight fair though; don’t make comebacks just because. Don’t make the matter worse, if all you need to do is apologize, then do it. Don’t spend a lot of time fighting in your marriage. Marriage is better and has a lot more to offer when you are happy together.
2. Keep dating each other! The honeymoon stage is fabulous, but a year later things just start changing on ya! Things can get a big on the boring side. You get over the ‘getting to know each other phase’ quickly and sail right through to a set schedule. Your day-to-day lives are pretty predictable.You get into a routine; for those that work, your spouse comes home from work, you come home from work, you may eat dinner together and you go to bed. Things just become a routine. However, try to continue to date each other. Just because you two are married now should not mean that you stop dating or doing some fun things together. Put some spontaneity into your marriage. Plan unexpected dates, dinners and adventures.
3. The more you are patient for the sake of your marriage, the better your marriage becomes. Learn to become patient not only for your own sanity, but also for the betterment of your marriage. Sometimes it just takes a little patience for a big fire to go out. When you exercise patience in your marriage, you are creating a key to your happily ever after. Each day you will have an opportunity to be patient and understand your spouse, be patient with them. Be ready to make a lot of sacrifices.
4. Apologizing isn’t easy, but it will make you a better spouse. Just say sorry when you are wrong and move on.
5. Marriage DOES NOT change your significant other — you may think that after you get married to bae that they may change. No, they won’t. Marriage might, however, show you their true self. They will still be the same person as when you were dating them. So be prepared to be OK with that.
6. Get ready for two common consistent questions: “When will you have kids?” every time you are seen. When you do have the first child then the “When is baby #2 coming?” starts dropping. The pressure to have kids will be in your face. Don’t let that phase you. Enjoy your time together alone and don’t let the pressure to have kids be a decisive factor as to why you want kids.
7. Romance may fly out of the window and away — romance may last through the engagement date or the first year of marriage. In fact, it may go away as soon you two get acquainted. If you have kids, whoa! Let’s not go there. ? However, if this is something that is really important to you, be sure to express your feelings to your spouse.
8. In-laws are just as important as your family because they are important to your spouse. Get to know important folks in the family and be comfortable with them after all, they are your family as well.
9. Marriage is not the same as dating. You don’t meet your spouse at a location looking all good, smelling all good, ready to have some fun. Marriage means you wake up together looking hella cray with halitosis; marriage means you are around each other all the time. You can’t just break up on the spot over a heated argument. Marriage is a commitment. Like they say, dating is like renting an apartment while marriage is like being a homeowner. 😉
10. Expectations suck! Don’t wait for anyone to make you happy or to love you. NO, not even your spouse! Make sure you love yourself enough to love another. Make sure you can make yourself happy enough to make someone else happy. Love is not enough to make your marriage work. It takes a lot of patience, compromise and understanding for your happily ever after to exist. And it takes a happy, healthy, emotionally stable YOU to do that.
11. Money can be the cause a lot of fights and headaches. Finances/money is one of the top reasons why people divorce. Understand your finances and plan accordingly. Saving some money will help you in the long run.
12. Nothing in marriage is 50/50. Some days you may feel like you are doing 70% while you spouse is only giving you a mere 30%. And some days you may be the one giving your 30%. Listen, just do the best you can. Put your best foot first and make sure you are doing whatever it takes to make it work.
That is a few I can think of, but I am sure there are a lot more. Married folks, what would you add?
Please comment, share & like.
Thank you,
Sahra
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