In the coming weeks, I’d like to explore some attributes of some of the healthiest and happy marriages. Many of the conversations I have with people about marriage are based on what are some of the good features that make marriages work. I can tell you now, forgiveness is one of them!
Research shows that married folks who continuously forgive one another maintain a healthy and emotionally well-being marriage. So, what does that look like and how can you make this part of your marriage? Actually it is simple.
The healthiest and happiest couples are living in forgiveness. In these marriages, when one spouse does something wrong, the other does not hold a grudge and add on to the problem. They create the solution and forgive their partner. This does not necessarily mean that you have given up and are creating an excuse for your spouse’s behavior, instead what you are actually doing is healing yourself. When you forgive your spouse, you are actually doing a lot for your marriage. When you choose to forgive your spouse, you are really making a powerful decision.
Forgiveness is a big part of Islam and we are taught to forgive others and always ask for forgiveness from Allah. It is indeed one of the most beautiful aspects of our religion. We are humans and we are always doing something wrong. As a result, we ask Allah (SWT) for forgiveness and pray that He forgives us.
To err is human and to forgive is divine.
Personally, I have learned to forgive my husband even when I did not want to. What I have noticed is that when I do this, I heal myself from what I was feeling inside and in return, I heal the problem. Sometimes it isn’t that simple. Sometimes it takes a long time for the healing process to take effect but the important thing to note is that forgiving your spouse means you are also forgiving yourself. Up until recently, I used to see forgiveness as a sign of weakness because it meant me giving up my right to correct what I thought was wrong.
The best way to practice forgiveness is to know when to take the high road. Learn to be your better half’s better half. When you learn to forgive, you are putting your marriage first.
Husbands, please learn how to pick your battles. A happy home starts with a happy wife. Don’t focus on her errors, instead learn to forgive her for it. Forgive her time and again and see how that changes her.
Wives, when your husband seems to be getting on your last nerves and your imagination somehow makes you believe you can break him into 32 pieces, just remember to forgive him. 😉
Honestly, forgiveness is always a choice. YOU have the power to forgive and you have to say to yourself, “I know I don’t want this pain any longer, therefore I choose to forgive.” You have to choose forgiveness.
Let me know what you think. Leave a comment or your thoughts below.
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